Book Orders

I absolutely LOVED getting book orders at school as a kid. I remember the endless possibilities feeling and the thrill of going through each page and seeing the throngs of books before me. I remember when Ethan got his first book order. I was just as excited as he was. I must admit that every time the boys bring one home we spend hours looking through it. Ethan's love has taken a new level though. Today when he got home from school he excited asks, "Mom, can I have $24?" My first thought was....uh I usually let you choose the $1 books unless there's one that I really want, then I'm willing to maybe spend $3 on a book. I asked him what he was wanting to get and he could hardly hide his excitement about a "How to Draw Your Own Comics" book and about 6 "Captain Underpants" books (which by the way I can't stand because all Ethan can talk about after he reads them are wedgies and underwear and as much as that is relevant to the subject matter I can only handle so much of it in conversation).

I explain to my dear boy that I would be happy to supply jobs in which he could earn money, and he could see how much he could earn before the book orders were due. He was a man driven by a dream. He dove right in to mopping both the bathroom floors and then reality hit him. He came back to me "exhausted" from his 20 minutes of labor and said, "Okay now what can I do?" I gave him a list of jobs which included: wiping dirt off the walls, cleaning the baseboards, and folding and putting away laundry that wasn't his. He asked the wages he would earn and I could tell his dream of $24 was starting to dwindle and the reality of how much work it would take to earn that much moola was settling in. But did my son give up hope? No sir-ree. He came up with some "make a quick buck" ideas that to his dismay did not get approved by CFO Mom. They were as follows:

1. Selling refreshments: "Mom, I noticed that you like to eat a lot, I could charge you a quarter for every piece of food you eat." My thoughts: This is true, and he would be a ba-ga-zillionare by the end of my pregnancy, but I was unwilling to pay for my food twice and explained to him that I wouldn't pay for food that I already bought.

2. Having me buy a flashlight and telescope that he had spent his own money on. "Mom, I have my receipt for my flashlight I bought. Will you pay me the money I spent on it? I'll let you use it." My thoughts: Nope, you wanted to spend your money on it, it's yours, and I'm currently not in the market for a flashlight or a telescope.

3. He has the negotiation skills of a master. I had told him that he would get $.50 for each load of laundry that he folded and put away. E's response: "If you think about it that's not really fair, I think it should be a dollar. Anything that's above this line (he pointed to a spot on the laundry basket) should count as two loads because you can fit a lot of clothes in this basket." Me: "E, I said 50 cents, if you do it that's what I'll pay you." E: "Okay, I guess I'll take 75 cents" Me: Um, nope 50 cents.

4. Sell tickets to go to "pool land". He had the brilliant idea of trying to get money out of Ryan, who happens to save his money like a madman. E was going to make a pile of blankets and pillows at the bottom of the stairs and then sell Ryan tickets(at a dollar a ticket) to jump into them.

5. Using love and logic on me. "Mom, you can give me $5 or $4, which one do you want to do?"

6. Trying to go into debt. "Mom, I double pinkie AND thumb promise that if you give me the money I'll do the work later." I tried explaining debt and how that doesn't really work out I started taking about interest rates and how they work. He was giving me the "I didn't really want you to explain the higher laws of finance in detail with me look" so I finally said, my interest is that you'd have to change all the poopy diapers from the new baby for a year. Getting money from mom lost all appeal really quickly for him.

7. His last attempt was me finding him wiggling his teeth like crazy. Me: "Dude, what are you doing?" E: "Maybe the tooth fairy with give me $2 a tooth" Me: Ethan just wipe some baseboards.