Lamenting the Loss...

My Ethan turned six on the 25th. I know six might not seem very old compared to the years that follow, but six to me gave me a sense of my death...let me explain. I realized as I was eating lunch with Spencer and Ethan for his birthday, that the conversation was no longer me teaching Ethan the words of things, or telling him not to touch this or that(we still do have a lot of that conversation, but at this moment we weren't), or having him sit on my lap because he was too small to reach the table without my help. As he sat there telling me that he wanted to be a doctor because he wanted to help people, and about his day in the world of what is kindergarten I realized he is growing up. The real kicker came when Spencer and I were talking to each other and Ethan gave us the look. I can't describe it more than an "Oh my, my parents are goofy" look. It was a sucker punch and in that moment I realized I was saying goodbye to an era of parenting, I was no longer the mommy of toddlers, I was a mother of a young child (and toddlers). Some might say that it's not that big of a deal, but from that I quickly had the rest of my life zoom by in seconds, I could imagine the scouts, the dating, the missions, the marriages and then there I was on my death bed. Luckily before I was engulfed in a depression Ethan asked me if I wanted a bite of his ice cream sundae. It's kind of funny how kids can put you in a funk and then pull you right out of it.